Let’s face it, procrastination is something we all grapple with. But when it comes to preserving family legacies, the stakes are much higher.
According to a study by the American Psychological Association, around 20% of adults are chronic procrastinators. While putting off tasks might seem harmless in the moment, delaying the documentation of family stories and histories can have devastating consequences, especially when dementia enters the picture.
In the world of ultra-high-net-worth families, legacy is about so much more than just wealth. It’s the stories, traditions and values passed down through generations that define what a family truly stands for.
Yet, a significant challenge often threatens this legacy — procrastination. The process of capturing stories, values, and life histories often gets pushed aside. Maybe it feels overwhelming, or there’s a belief that there’s always more time. But the reality is this delay can be incredibly costly. The memories and narratives that form the core of a family’s identity can fade — or worse, be lost entirely — especially if a loved one begins to experience cognitive decline.
The impact of dementia on memory and legacy
Dr. Richard Restak, a leading neurologist, has extensively studied how dementia impacts memory and cognitive function. Dementia doesn’t just affect the individual; it affects the entire family. It gradually erodes the ability to recall and articulate memories, often catching families off-guard.
Restak’s work focuses on understanding and preventing dementia, and his insights highlight a critical point: Early action in preserving memories is key to ensuring they aren't lost forever.
The National Institutes of Health reports that the risk of dementia rises with age. Although it is not an inevitable consequence of aging, about 25% to 30% of people age 80 or older have some form of dementia.
Dementia has a ripple effect on family legacy. When someone in the family — especially someone who holds a wealth of the family’s history — begins to suffer from memory loss, it’s not just their stories that are at risk. It’s also the lessons, values and experiences that could have been shared and passed down. Those are lost, leaving a void in the family’s narrative.
I recall an early poignant experience in my career when a grandson hired us to document his grandfather's stories. The man was one of the first Jewish students to attend Princeton College. We were able to capture his voice and a few of his earliest memories, but much of what he shared during the interviews was jumbled and lacked any basis in reality. It was clear that dementia had already taken a significant toll. Sadly, the project was completed just two months before the man passed away. Had the family engaged us three to four years earlier, we could have preserved much richer and more coherent memories.
The urgency of preserving family stories
From a strategic-planning perspective, the documentation of family stories should be seen as an integral part of broader wealth and estate management. Just as families meticulously plan for the financial future, so, too, should they plan for the preservation of their legacy. This ensures that the intangible assets — the values, principles and stories that define a family — are safeguarded alongside financial assets.
The good news is I’ve seen the immense value when families take early action. One of the most rewarding projects we worked on involved a woman in her 80s who had meticulously documented 14 generations of her family history, tracing back to the Scottish Highlands. She was clearheaded and was able to identify over 800 historic photos and documents. Today, she lives in a memory care unit, and her three sons are profoundly grateful that they captured her memories when they did. Her legacy is not just preserved; it's enriched with her own voice and perspective, something that would have been lost if they had waited any longer.
In our work, we see firsthand why early action is so important. Legacy film work isn’t just about capturing high-quality visuals; it’s about preserving the essence of individuals — their gestures, voices and wisdom. Legacy projects are about honoring loved ones while they are still here to feel how much they mean to their family and to be at peace knowing their story was told. Projects are a powerful way to bestow respect and capture the true spirit of a beloved family member.
Overcoming the tendency to delay
So, why do we procrastinate when it comes to preserving family stories? Psychological research gives us some clues: The task feels overwhelming, we fear confronting our own or others’ mortality, and we convince ourselves there will always be more time. But the data tells a different story.
The AARP conducted a survey that found that while 90% of people think documenting family history is important, fewer than 40% actually do it. This gap between intention and action is exactly why a proactive approach to legacy preservation is so critical.
In our work, we help families overcome inertia by breaking the process down into manageable steps. We focus on capturing the most essential stories and memories first, guiding families through a personal process that is as meaningful as the final product. It’s not just about getting it done; it’s about making the journey of documenting a family’s legacy a deeply rewarding experience.
For family office managers and advisers, integrating legacy preservation into your service offerings can provide immense value to your clients. It’s not just an add-on; it’s a vital component of holistic wealth management that ensures that the family’s values and stories are preserved for future generations.