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On Family Office Management

Failure-to-launch syndrome: Why some families are susceptible

Author John Samuels

John M. Samuels is the founder and CEO of Wellworth. For over 20 years, John was a senior health care leader in New York City’s top hospitals, including Northwell Health and Mount Sinai Beth Israel. As assistant vice president of emergency medicine, he was responsible for 16 emergency departments and a rapidly expanding network of urgent care centers.

John Samuels
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Sep 10, 2024
8 months ago
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Credit: KRISTINA RUOTOLO
John Samuels

One mental health challenge that often emerges in the children of high-net-worth families is "failure to launch." Though not an official mental health diagnosis, this term describes young adults who remain dependent on their parents rather than establish independent, self-sufficient lives. Often intertwined with issues like anxiety, depression and addiction, failure to launch can be a significant hurdle for families who are otherwise accustomed to success.

Understanding failure to launch

Failure to launch occurs when a young adult becomes developmentally stalled, unable to transition from adolescence into adulthood. These individuals may struggle to complete their education, hold down a job, maintain meaningful relationships or find purpose in life. They may also grapple with addictions to substances like cannabis or behaviors like excessive gambling. In many cases, these young adults are living at home or independently with access to abundant resources, yet they lack the motivation or skills to take control of their own lives.

Dr. Rachele Vogel, Psy.D., an expert in behavioral health, said failure to launch is most common in individuals who lack a sense of identity or passion, struggle with anxiety or depression, and have grown up in environments where parents have shielded them from discomfort. "Kids need to make mistakes and learn to care for themselves," Vogel said. "A child who has been sheltered from the natural stresses and anxieties of life is going to struggle in the real world. Helicopter parenting often contributes to failure to launch."

Treatment approaches

Treating failure to launch requires a comprehensive approach that involves the entire family. Vogel emphasizes the importance of assessing and adjusting accommodating behaviors within the family that may stunt the individual's growth. This process involves making gradual changes to build the young adult’s independent living skills and fostering a willingness to face discomfort.

A health care adviser can be instrumental in this process by supporting the family in adhering to the treatment plan and helping them reduce enabling behaviors. "These changes will impact the entire family system," Vogel said, "so everyone needs to be prepared to step out of their comfort zone."

Recognizing the signs

Failure to launch isn’t always easy to recognize, especially in families where the child’s safety and security are paramount. It’s important for parents to assess their child’s resilience, problem-solving abilities and exposure to life’s challenges. "Consider what might be hindering your child's growth," Vogel said. "Are they managing their emotions and life stressors independently? Or are they overly reliant on you?"

Recovery and moving forward

Recovery from failure to launch requires patience and a gradual approach. Encouraging independence involves providing the right amount of support for the young adult to develop new skills while gradually allowing them to take on more responsibility. Both parents and the young adult need to be willing to embrace the discomfort that comes with change and growth — and sometimes, that means saying “no.”

Author John Samuels

John M. Samuels is the founder and CEO of Wellworth. For over 20 years, John was a senior health care leader in New York City’s top hospitals, including Northwell Health and Mount Sinai Beth Israel. As assistant vice president of emergency medicine, he was responsible for 16 emergency departments and a rapidly expanding network of urgent care centers.

John Samuels
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